NEW MERCH IN STORE NOW
Oh yeah, we've got merch!
It's great merch. Go take a look and buy some of our merch. We love merch, you love merch... merch, merch, MERCH!
And to say thank you for buying our most excellent merch, you can get 15% OFF with code 'NEW15'. Damn, we're so generous.
We love you.
(P.S. Please buy some merch)